this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
