Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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