my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
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