Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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