Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
