I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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