Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
