your parents love me but you hate me
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
