Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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