in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
