So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
