he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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