sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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