You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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