you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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