Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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