summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
