Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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