I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize