I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
