Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
