You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
