I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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