who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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