i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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