i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
