lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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