did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
