what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
