perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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