What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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