Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
