I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
