Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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