Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
