This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
