It's Friday. Sex?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
