No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
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