We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
