Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
