she was so not down for the gang bang
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
