Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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