I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
