I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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