a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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