gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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