So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
