I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
