So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
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