And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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