i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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