I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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