Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize