I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
