I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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