At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Just high enough for therapy.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
