I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
