You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
