haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
