Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
