Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
