On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
