You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
