yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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