you guys were way drunker than both of me
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
