My hand turned me down
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
What a dumb baby whore.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
