I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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