My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
