We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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