I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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