i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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