so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
