I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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