Plan B is the new Plan A
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
