i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
