he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
