I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
